What the field of counselling doesn't say

about the therapy process

The Cleveland Clinic found each day we have about 60,000 thoughts and 95% of those thoughts are repeat thoughts, with 80% of those thoughts being negative.

We don't want to be repeating the past! When we know about neuroscience and how the brain and mind body energy system works, we know talking about the past keeps us living in the past, because the same area of the brain lights up when we talk about the past as if it is the the original experience. So we are deepening those neural pathways and slowing down the progression.

Looking at, picking at and touching a wound doesn't create progression. We need nutrients and sunshine to create healthy blood, bones, body and mind. Nutrients come in many forms. In facing relationships, stress and trauma, we need the nutrients/life skills to know how our brain and body respond to these three vital areas. This is as essential to know, as learning to read and write, yet no therapist, parent or teacher is teaching these complete essentials.

The brain goes to what it has done most recently and most frequently, so those pathways deepen even more when we talk about 'emotional pain'. No one wants to feel awful, but we keep talking about the awful instead of how to get out of the awful. We mistakenly perceive that we need to talk about it and get to the bottom of it, to resolve it but this goes against the neuroscience of the brain. The more you talk, the more you 'fire and wire' and deepen those neural pathways. We need help to know how to soothe and support our system to move beyond our past identity and coping mechanisms of the past. So we can step into our generative, constructive, progressive self.

Despite best intentions, therapists are re-traumatising clients and deepening old neural pathways. These are only two of many aspects how the industry is unethical in not training professionals to know about the brain and trauma or in showing people how to work with the secrets within these automatic patterns that is briliant and here for our benefit.

We need to learn how to interrupt, soothe and redirect our feelings, thoughts and focus to generative pathways to create a better future, rather than being fixated on 'fixing' the past. This doesn't mean we deny the past, but that we develop the skills to resolve and progress.

There is a way to not ignore or deny the past, and not be continually tied to our old identity. We need to know how to completely and permanently interrupt patterns, soothe and support ourselves out of the old pathways as we build new pathways, and know how to trust and believe new changes are growing, rather than loop to old pathways. We need to know the secret to extinguish the loop.

When we get in a car to learn how to drive, the driving instructor doesn't drive. We do. We actually practice each driving lesson doing the same thing that we do when we get our licence. This is what should happen in therapy.

Positive thinking, avoidance, will power and even trauma skills, don't provide complete and permanent resolution and change. Trauma skills keep us with one foot still in the past or the trauma.

Most people are not 'driving their car = steering through life'. Instead there is a ground hog day and our lives shaped by our roles and others and social expectations. Without realising people hand their choices, possibilities and power over to their past/familial/social 'rules and past', not expecting anything better. This is the trauma/problem driving the car, and we in a reactive, managing mode, one step behind.

People perceive because an event was painful, hard or over a long period of time, that therapy/recovery will be long, hard and over a long period of time. This is a myth and is based on practitioners not having adequte knowledge and skills.

Many people come to me who need to use modalities daily to 'manage' life, and are surprised despite immersion in many 'great healing' modalities to still have triggers arise.

People want to feel happy, believe in themselves and feel inspired and motivated to do what feels good for them. Instead what is repeated in therapy is the trauma, or the troubles, and not how to take care of the residual the person is left with, so they can transition and know how to bridge from the past, to step into who they want to be after therapy. This is what happens through the facilitation and mentoring within The Essentials MEthod™. This is not therapy. This is like having a driving instructor beside you guiding you as you learn how the 'gears and brakes work'.

Over time I noticed patterns in clients and in my own journey that revealed to me that what was being taught, even in the best trauma trainings had gaps. It was only when I started to question what was missing and 'what would I put together if I was creating a trauma method' and testing that out on myself and later on my clients that I found true and permanent resolution. The Essentials MEthod™.

Mission

My mission is simple. I want you to be where you want to be in your mind, body and relationships without struggle or suffering over years like I did.

I want you to benefit from my personal journey and my professional knowledge and experience. I spent decades in therapy, thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours. You don't need to. You can feel better faster in all areas of your life.

I want you to feel wellbeing, freedom and full of choices no matter your past or other people, situation or environment.

I want you to feel joy, clarity and capability that is not dependent on other people, situations or environment being a particular way.

My mission is to provide you with the essential skills and knowledge that most practitioners in the field are not trained in, so they don't know how to teach or embody it to model it.

"Give a person a fish, they eat for a day.

Teach a person to fish, and they eat for a lifetime".

I provide you with the knowledge and skills to permanently and completely resolve past stress or trauma, and move through life with greater skill, flow, inner calm, ease, connection, joy and wellbeing. You will never need therapy.

You can be in the moment instead of living in the past, repeating the past. Life is not about the past, life is about now. You have a power within. You can live life discovering and expanding your creativity, joy and love for self and others.

Vision

For The Essentials MEthod™ to become common knowledge for every woman, man and growing child. That these are essential life skills and knowledge about self, relationships and how to stay in our connection and power no matter what is going on.

So you can know how to resolve stress and the past, dissolve trauma, limiting beliefs and feelings, so you're not reactive, passive or looping into old habits, and instead choose, create and align with your magnificant brain and body responses, so life, love, the unknown and new are a deeply satisfying adventure.

In the past people would book to see a therapist or a healer. I believe we live in an age where we don't need to see someone to 'fix' us. It is not that this is wrong, but there is more than one way.

From my personal and professional experience, this is a slower way, keeps handing our power and knowledge to someone else, and restricts our capacity to engage in life and develop the interests, experiences and skills which expand our sense of self and our confidence, health and capability as opposed to spending time, money and often years in therapy.

We benefit from walking alongside someone who provides skills and knowledge, can model what they teach in mind and heart, is real and genuine, doesn't have to look 'clinical or professional' to be professional, is authentic, personal, and is a mentor and facilitator for us to own and inhabit our true essence and deep inner wisdom and instincts.

Values

We are more non physical, than physical.

I never used to believe this, but one day I realised what the 3 most important elements of being had in common.

Our life energy is non physical.

Life energy is not woo-woo. Without energy we are not alive. We don't exist.

Our life energy connects us to all life energy. When we know how to tap into all that is, we can leverage our momentum and process of expansion and change.

Our thoughts are non physical.

Our feelings are non physical.

When these 3 are in flow, we dance through life/world. Without these in flow, we struggle and life doesn't feel good.

These 3 elements of being are the largest influence, creator and activator of our daily choices, health, way of being, and in our relationship with self and others.

***

Coming from a personal history of suffering, struggle and feeling unsupported, I came to a point in my life where I reached into my 'desire' and out of 'survival'.

I chose to become 'active' in steering a different path for me. I didn't want to just fall into the momentum from the past and survival. I wanted to be clear, differentiate and choose.

I did believe, like others who had lived a similar life to me, I could create a fresh new chapter. I wanted to experience and live from the opposite of my past. I knew it was possible, from hearing people turn their life around. So I re-focussed and intended something different, even if back then I didn't know how.

What helped me was having 3 values. These values became my reference point and guided me in making my choices. Was it easy - because easy leads to flow and is the opposite of struggle. Was it fun - because fun leads to joy and I wanted more laughter in my life, rather than suffering, and was it creative/generative - because creative means I am not repeating or reacting, and instead aligning with the fresh new moment to create, open, expand.

I combine my 3 values, with the 3 greatest elements of our being and my professional integrity, skills, knowledge and unconditional regard, seeing and holding space for you, as you expand and tap into your essence and whole self.

We are not doing therapy. I provide a road map, based on how the brain, body and energy work. I am a facilitator and mentor showing you a process, as you activate your instinct, joy and inner being guidance.